Thursday, January 3, 2008

Dawn of the Flesh-Eaters

Over Christmas, Bob and I took Parmer to 290, and out to Elgin, TX for stage one of barbeque research. Elgin is renowned for sausage. Elgin sausage is referred to with great colloquial flair as Hot Guts.

At the outset our consumption plan emphasized discipline and restraint, so as to save room for offerings from the three establishments on our lunch radar. This failed. Almost immediately so, as Southside BBQ's sausage was delicious enough we had to engage in a kind of extended pep talk of self-control, the kind usually reserved for alcohol binges, record fairs, and porn-site downloads.

Southside is as much a well-branded bbq emporium as a market, it had the most t-shirt, homemade sauce, cookbook, branded gift shop bullshit of anybody. Its long wooden tables are highly conducive to birthdays, family gatherings, and by the looks of things, outpatient field trips as well.

Please enjoy this picture of a family eating below an entire stuff bear at Southside BBQ.

The scene at Meyer's:

After Southside and Meyer's barbeque, we were full in that slightly degraded, bloated way. At least I was. You must understand that my physical constitution stems largely from my mother's side, whose family tree is populated by a number of colicy, snivel-nosed, lillywhite brits. My father's side, represented that day by my brother, is in contrast populated largely by steel-gutted Irish folk who will live forever despite, or perhaps even because of, the amount of booze, grease, and general near-plastic crap they consume daily. I couldn't make it inside Crosstown BBQ, the third and final stop on our tour. While the parking lot of Southside was perfumed with mouth-watering mesquite smoke, the inside of Crosstown smelled like, we concluded, "a butt."

Leading to the impromptu declaration that we needn't push things over the edge for the sake of science, and to a return to Southside, winner of the day's pageant, for the purchasement of sausage links. I ate some bluebell ice cream and then threw it at some goats.

Weekend Prince: Dawn of the Flesh-Eaters / Central TX BBQ road mix for flesh eaters

1. Dreamer - Dennis Wilson
2. Whiskey River - Willie Nelson
3. Run and Hide - Weekend Prince
4. Food for My Soul - The Dragons
5. Make it Funky Pts 3 & 4 - James Brown
6. La La La - Segun Bucknor and his Revolution
7. Sunshine of Your Love - Funkadelic
8. Livin in the Ghetto - Purple Image
9. The Rain - Eddie Gale
10.O Lord, Bring Apartheid Crashing Down! - Khalifa Ould Eide & Dimi Mint Abba

or download the mix here:

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